Nov 30, 2005

It May Be Too Late...

for most members of Congress.



It starts out with simple campaign contributions and that almost always leads to the hard stuff.

We don't have a large budget here at Justice for an expensive public service campaign to prevent corruption. Help us be judicious with your tax dollars by submitting your ideas for my new DOJ...
" Just Say No Thank You To Graft Program."
The winning entry (poster and slogan) will receive a signed 8 x 10 glossy of yours truly and the thanks from a grateful nation. It will then be delivered to 100 Senators and 435 members of Congress (make that 434 - we are too late for Duke).
Good Luck!
Deadline for entries is December 16th.
For your convenience email: JustSayNoThankYou2GraftContest@gmail.com

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I Had A Dream...

last night.

I dreamt that I was nek-ed in front of the grand jury. I woke up early today and went to the gym.

Nov 29, 2005

Prosecuting Evil Doers...

is HARD WORK. To relieve the tension of the daily grind in the DOJ 'neighborhood' funny spoofs like these keep us smiling.

Click to play this FUNNY Kartoon!

Compost Happens...

Rotten apples don't fall too far from the tree here in DC.

I have to ask Rep. Katherine Harris (R-FL) and Rep. Virgil Goode (R-VA) what is worse than finding a worm in their apple? Answer: Half a worm.

Sweetheart campaign contributions totaling over $100,000 from corrupt defense contractor MZM and its former CEO Mitchell Wade (Co-conspirator in the Duke Cunningham case) might have tasted good at the time, but mixed with a little sunshine I suspect they might be finding a bad taste in their mouths right about now.

With corruption running rampant and working with limited resources at the DOJ we can only do so much -- so when people like Josh Marshall at
Talking Points Memo connect the dots I applaud them and continue to fervently support a healthy, free and investigative press.

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Nov 28, 2005

Luke & Laura's Wedding...

the Brownstone Murders, Monica and Allen Quartermaine, Frisco, Felicia, Bobbie, Jake, Lucy Coe, Anna Devane, Scorpio, Blackie and Duke Lavery from the hey day of General Hospital all together (or as we called it in college - "GH") can't even rival the soap opera drama unfolding in this town!

"A top aide to former Secretary of State Colin Powell said Monday that wrongheaded ideas for the handling of foreign detainees arose from White House and Pentagon officials who argued that "the president of the United States is all-powerful" and the Geneva Conventions irrelevant.

In an Associated Press interview, former Powell chief of staff Lawrence Wilkerson also said President Bush was "too aloof, too distant from the details" of postwar planning. Underlings exploited Bush's detachment and made poor decisions, Wilkerson said.

Wilkerson blamed Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and like-minded aides. He said Cheney must have sincerely believed that Iraq could be a spawning ground for new terror assaults, because "otherwise I have to declare him a moron, an idiot or a nefarious bastard."
[more] (Audio)

I smell a Daytime Grammy, maybe several!

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You Are Getting Warmer...

From The Raw Story - Testimony from Rove's former assistant may solidify case that he misled leak inquiry - Rove told her not to log call with Time reporter in leak case.

All I will say is that these kids are good! John Byrne editor & publisher - Larisa Alexandrovna managing editor, news - Avery Walker managing editor

Sen. Springsteen (D-NJ)...

has a GREAT ring to it, yes?

Born to Run--but for Public Office? On the 30th anniversary of the release of Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run, Sens. Jon Corzine and Frank Lautenberg, both New Jersey Democrats, proposed a resolution congratulating The Boss on his contribution to American culture. It's the sort of thing that normally sails through Congress. But the resolution was shot down by Senate Republicans, presumably for the support Springsteen lent John Kerry last year.
Now, as Corzine mulls over possible replacements for his Senate seat (he was elected governor of New Jersey earlier this month), there is a push among his constituents for him to name--who else?--The Boss.
Anthony Coley, Corzine's press secretary, says it's not a bad idea--"especially," he adds, "if you're a Springsteen fan."
That I am, that I am.

Guilty..!

is my favorite word of all time.
Rep. Cunningham Pleads Guilty - Admits taking bribes of over $2.4M

If you recall, Duke tried to defend his grafty ways back in June

Sorry Duke, but I love the smell of justice on a Monday in spite of your 'Top Gun' fame! You should have never left your wingman 'Integrity.'

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Breakfast of Champions...

Happy Monday! A busy week ahead consisting of the usual diet - deposing, investigating, probing, digging, snarling, barking, keeping the pressure on, evaluating, hashing, kicking around, rehashing, scrutinizing, and sorting out this giant can of worms all over my desk I call Operation Truth in Government.

FYI, to date this is what I have not found - any introspection or accountability at all in the EOB - this case seems to them as everybody else's fault - the press, gutless Republicans on the Hill, the Democrats and even mine. They're still in denial.

Not ready to throw in the towel and declare the boss a lame duck, these same folks are hoping two issues can help firm up their base and perhaps make inroads with centrists who voted for Bush to help his ever weakening support and approval ratings: the anticipated confirmation of Supreme Court nominee
Samuel Alito, and a plan to reinforce the border with Mexico to help stop illegal immigration.

If you ask me, this is a classic case of too little, too late. Speaking of late, all the doughnuts are now gone. Now I have to open an investigation to discover who ate them all, Sheesh!

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Nov 27, 2005

Uh Oh, Better Go Greyhound...

"Official A" is known to use any trick in the book, and then some to advance his agenda, especially now with his back against the wall.
Plane Carrying Card Makes Emergency Landing
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - "A small, twin-engine plane carrying White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card made an emergency landing in Nashville Saturday after smoke began pouring into the cockpit, officials said.

En route from Crawford, Card and 12 others on board were not injured when the Gulfstream 4 plane bound for Washington landed at the Nashville International Airport around 4 p.m."

Andy, I recommend when eating in public, sit at the back table with your eyes facing front. Always have your man servant start your car and never get in a car that pulls up with an old friend asking you to get in.

More importantly, since I am mulling over using the RICO Act to break up this GOP criminal enterprise please reconsider my offer to join the DOJ witness protection program.

Nov 25, 2005

Mince Meat Pie, Anyone..?



ABRAMOFF LOBBYING PROBE EXPANDS; FOUR CONGRESS MEMBERS EYED IN BRIBERY SCANDAL - At this rate we can end world hunger by 2006.

Jackie, thank you for the cartoon. :)

Nov 23, 2005

Last But Not Least...

I think it is only fitting that Rep. "Mean" Jean Schmidt, Queen of the Chickenhawks receive my first annual 'Turkey of the Year Award.' Granted she retracted her statement slandering Rep. Jack Murtha, but she is still whining and complaining about it which tells me her apology was disingenuine.

Judging by her words yesterday -- the first after avoiding the public for three days -- Schmidt doesn't understand what the fuss is about, and sees herself more as victim than villain. "I am amazed at what a national story this has become," she said in a statement. "I have been attacked very personally, continuously since Friday evening."

Click the image, print it out and let the kids color it en route to Grandma's for Thanksgiving. Share with them the lessons about respecting other people's opinions, name calling and saying sorry.
I am out the door, looking forward to a day off with friends and family. Cheers!

T.K.O. 4 T.O...

'Turkey of the Year' candidate!

Owens' suspension upheld by arbitrator

Eagle fans, I am sorry for the ribbing, but I am a huge fan of the 1st place N.Y. Giants and you guys are the meanest NFL hooligans, bar none! ;)

Jack Murtha Is A Blogger..!

Welcome to blogotopia, Jack!

Blue For the Holidays..?

Cheer up!

I deal in a world of catching evil doers who have done bad things, but when I look up from my work I still have alot to be thankful for, especially all the good doers.

Happy Thanksgiving. - Pray for Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Alabama, Nebraska, Mississippi, and Okalahoma they mean well, but aren't designed too intelligently.

Nov 22, 2005

Out of My Jurisdiction...

I usually don't look too kindly on pardons, unless it is a death row inmate in Illinois, but in this case today I say "Bully!"

Don't worry, I don't think its name was Scooter.

We All Make Mistakes...

but this one is a doozy.
Apparently CNN had a technical glitch Monday morning during a live segment with V.P. Dick Cheney that resulted in an 'X' being placed on the screen.
Of course, conspiracists, wing nuts and Matt Drudge are claiming that it was an intentional act by the 'Communist News Network' and not a computer glitch.
I guess that the same people who believe in intelligent design don't fully understand how technology works either.

An Eye To The Future...

OK, busy day, but just wanted to share that I did a little personal housekeeping this morning and bought some shares of Google, eBay and Apple in my IRA.
Last time I had looked Google was at $286.00 per share in September. Kicking myself a bit since I paid $408.00 today!

If I get a chance to depose Dick Cheney I am going to ask HIM for some stock tips.

"Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) recently asserted that Cheney's stock options in Halliburton which were worth $241,498 a year ago, are now valued at more than $8 million-- for an increase of 3,281%. Cheney has pledged to give the proceeds to charity. Uh huh. Cheney continues to received a deferred salary from the company. He was paid $205,298 in 2001; $162,392 in 2002; $178,437 in 2003; and $194,852 in 2004.

Cheney's recipe for success?Textbook war profiteering with no-bid contracts and no taxes.

At last count Halliburton had 58 offshore subsidiaries in Caribbean tax havens. With Cheney at the helm Halliburton’s tax payments to the U.S. went from $302 million in 1998 to zero in 1999, when they also received a refund of $85 million from the Internal Revenue Service.

During Cheney’s tenure as CEO from 1995 to 2000, Halliburton Products and Services set up shop in Iran. The Halliburton subsidiary does approximately $40 million a year worth of oil field service work for the Iranian government. 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl visited the subsidiary in the Cayman Islands and found that it had no office and no employees. The mailing address was a local bank with which the subsidiary is registered. Stahl was met there by the bank’s manager who informed her that all mail to the subsidiary is forwarded to Halliburton headquarters in Houston. Halliburton had created the subsidiary to allow itself to do illegal business with a rogue state and to skip out on its taxes in the process"...smooooooth, Dick.

Gotta run, late for power lunch at my desk....chicken salad and Snapple.

Nov 21, 2005

Get To Know Me..!

is my invitation to the 66% who have responded with no impression/opinion of me.




To the 18% who think favorably of me, I like you too. And to the 16% who have an unfavorable opinion of yours truly - get used to it since my work here is far from finished and the truth sometimes hurts.

Don't Get Me Wrong...

I love the free press in America and even the Washington Post, in spite of Bob Woodward's continuing lies. Let's see at 9PM EST tonight on CNN if he finally gets his story straight although Larry is the king at lobbing softball questions.Murtha Maureen Dowd

IMHO, staff writer Peter Slevin should win a Pulitzer Prize for this gem on me. It has to be some sort of record for both accuracy and brevity. Zarqawi OSM “David Brooks”

Smackdown..!

I bet this smarts and will leave a lasting impression.
The feud between V. P. Dick Cheney and Rep. Charlie Rangel reignited as the Harlem lawmaker ripped the veep as a draft dodger who found it "easy to fight [a war] with other people's children."
The decorated Korean War veteran took aim at Cheney after the White House put Vietnam War hero Rep. Jack Murtha (D-Pa.) in its cross hairs for recanting his support for the Iraq war and calling for the troops to return home.
"Cheney is like a chess player; he likes to move other people's pieces. In this case, it's sending other people's kids to war," Rangel told the Daily News.
Murtha had made a similar assault on Cheney's toughness, saying, "I like guys who got five deferments and never been there and send people to war."
See Jack speak his mind on Meet the Press yesterday.

Nov 20, 2005

No Exit Strategy for China...

let alone Iraq.
POTUS Blooper...
The president strode away from reporters looking annoyed after one said he appeared "off his game".
President Bush tugged at both handles on the double doors before admitting: "I was trying to escape. Obviously, it didn't work."
On a side note,nice wall treatment! I bet Ralph Lauren and Martha Stewart have taken note of that style.

Nov 19, 2005

Me 4 President..?


Is this the best we can do?

I am flattered by the question Ms. or Mr. "Anonymous" just left in comments. It is not the first time and I am sure not the last that I will be asked this question:

"PJF. How about POTUS 08? Serious."

Let me tell you what I know about politics.

First of all, you have to play well with others, learn how to compromise, and sell your soul to the devils just to raise enough cash to buy the media required to compete. And then start doing it again, the very next day after the election. Not my best qualities nor something I aspire to...

Unless of course, people see me as a firebrand reformer, coming in to clean house and pass real campaign finance reform, create an affordable healthcare system, push for energy efficiency, alternative fuels and renewable energy, give the EPA its balls back and outlaw all special interest groups that ply elected officials with cash. A good start, no? What would you say about a candidate who could not be bought? A candidate who limited his campaign contributions to individuals capped at $100, and just said no thank you to all PAC money and corporate contributions?

Second, I am not affiliated with any party. To run and win as an Independent (which I learned is a political party in itself) is not really feasible, and with no party affiliation a candidate would have about as much chance (think Lyndon LaRouche)as beating Boss Tweed or Mayor Daley in their day, zero to nil.

Realistically, in my job as a U.S. Attorney, I cannot in all good conscience favor or lean to either party at this time. In my experience there are bad apples and crooks on both sides of the aisle, although for the last six years the Grand Old Party has been having one Hell of a non-stop parte' and are only now just getting sloppy enough to be caught.

And now, to answer the question - I won't give you wishy washy answers like Condi Rice does in response to Tim Russert's incessant prodding as to whether or not she is running for POTUS in '08 (FYI, Condi you blew it while shoe shopping in NYC for 3 days during Hurricane Katrina).

Let me just say, yes. Yes!

I have always seen myself as continuing my entire career in public service, possibly culminating in elected or appointed office at the national level. And if any one politician or hard charging U.S. Attorney says to you privately that they don't want to be President, call them a liar to their face.

In '08? Maybe, maybe not, since it depends on so many factors, the first and foremost being that my current commitment and convictions (pun intended) are to bring several people to justice for doing some very bad things. Beyond that I am open to all possibilities.

Let's play a game called short list comprised of who I respect and would be proud to be a running mate with and/or have as a member of the cabinet from both parties:

Jack Murtha, Chuck Hagel, Wes Clark, John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, James Lee Witt, Joe Biden, Mark Warner, Colin Powell, Wyche Fowler, Tom Brokaw, John Edwards, Ted Turner, Arianna Huffington, Bill O'Reilly and Donald Trump. Furthermore, I would announce my cabinet in advance of the general election to include someone like Bill Clinton as my Sec. of State! Face it, the whole world loves Bubba, and it is called pragmatism - we have alot of damage control to do worldwide.

Have a good weekend.

Fitz

PS: I was just kidding about Donald Trump. And food for thought, my spoiler would be Elliot Spitzer so we could tag team corporate evil doers into oblivion.

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Who's The Boss..????

Republicans Refuse to Honor Springsteen! GOP Calls Murtha a Coward!

AP - Bruce Springsteen famously was "born in the USA," but he's getting scorned in the U.S. Senate.

An effort by New Jersey's two Democratic senators to honor the veteran rocker was shot down Friday by Republicans who are apparently still miffed a year after the Boss lent his voice to the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry.

The chamber's GOP leaders refused to bring up for consideration a resolution, introduced by Sens. Frank Lautenberg and Jon Corzine, that honored Springsteen's long career and the 1975 release of his iconic album, "Born to Run."

No reason was given, said Lautenberg spokesman Alex Formuzis. "Resolutions like this pass all the time in the U.S. Senate, usually by unanimous consent," he said.

Telephone calls to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's office seeking comment were not immediately returned.
[full article]

Two words Senator Frist - "poor form!" Rest assured, Ron Silver and Bruce Willis can now bank on the same treatment in this tit for tat town. In a lot of ways, D.C. is just still a small Southern town. Whites live on one side, poverty stricken blacks in another. Gossip is king with everybody saying one thing and then doing another. Back home in Smalltown, U.S.A. the same guys selling used cars on TV are now selling a used war on C-Span and FOX News, and still lying and over charging just as much.
Next I am just waiting for local honkey tonk style fights to erupt on the House floor and spill out into the parking lot. Congress certainly is feuding these days. Just yesterday, it got pretty tense with an explosion of angry words and personal insults being aimed at Rep. Jack Murtha, a former Marine Corps colonel and decorated war veteran, when a new representative called him a "coward." [Watch in Quicktime] I think the only reason he didn't haul off and hit her was because she was a woman. Semper Fubar!
Also, I miss the hustle and bustle like you find in New York, Chicago or other cities. After rush hour, it gets pretty sleepy down here. And talk about ancient blue laws, supermarkets can't sell beer and wine, it is challenging to find a liquor store open after 9PM or a bar serving much later than 1 AM. Being a hard chargin' and hard working Irishmen, I often desire, one might say require, a snort of Jameson chased with a pint or two to help me unwind after a late night at the office, especially at the end of the week. I woke up today smellin' like Jersey...just kidding, Bruce.
Is this solely an Irish gripe or is having a stiff drink readily available day and night important only to us? Someone emailed me this list of "What it means to be Irish" can anyone else relate?
1) You will never play professional basketball.
2) You swear very well.
3) At least one of your cousins holds political office.
4) You think you sing very well.
5) You have no idea how to make a long story short
6) You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
7) There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone..
8) Much of your food was boiled.
9) You have never hit your head on the ceiling.
10) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
11) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
12) You're, therefore, poetic a lot.
13) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
14) Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.
15) Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
16) Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary....and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
17) Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.
18) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.
19) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
20) "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge."
21) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency. 22) There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party.
23) You are, or know someone, named "Murph".
24) If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac, if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know Sully, and you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy
25) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
26) Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
27) And last but not least... Being Irish means... your attention span is so short that ... oh, forget it.
I like #25, but first have to work like a terrier to uncover them.
Finally, I am playing nothing but Springsteen on my iPod this weekend. Why is that, Senator Frist? Because he is the Boss, that's why you SOB (sweet old boy)! Wanna fight?
Cheers,
PJ
PS: Reach out and touch Sen. Frist - e-mail, fax (202-228-1264) or telephone (202-224-3344).

Nov 18, 2005

Help Wanted...

A few good men and women are needed to serve on a federal grand jury investigating criminal conspiracy and other assorted crimes. Long hours, lousy pay, but a warm and fuzzy feeling from serving your country and fulfilling your civic duty. The summons are in the mail...

The investigation is
continuing and will involve proceedings before a different grand jury than the grand jury which returned the indictment on I. "Scooter" Libby. And yes, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am seeking more indictments.

Nov 17, 2005

Who Do I Ask For A Raise..?


Think plate spinner on The Ed Sullivan Show.

No shortage of evil doers make multi-tasking necessary, but that is why I have a great and dedicated team -
Media Tycoon Black Indicted on Fraud Charges

I Am A Big Sucker...

for Girl Scout Cookies.



They cornered me coming out of the Safeway tonight like seasoned process servers! Needless to say, I bought two boxes each of Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Sandwich, Shortbread and Samoas, my favorites. I then went back into the store and bought a gallon of whole milk.

You Don't Tug On Superman's Cape...

You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Joe.


Good citizen Joe Wilson is raising a new rucus:
WILSON SAYS WOODWARD SHOULD BE PROBED
Joseph Wilson, the husband of outed CIA operative Valerie Plame, called on Thursday for an inquiry by The Washington Post into the conduct of journalist Bob Woodward, who repeatedly criticized the leak investigation without disclosing his own involvement."It certainly gives the appearance of a conflict of interest. He was taking an advocacy position when he was a party to it," Wilson said.
Before publicly disclosing his involvement in the leak case on Wednesday, Woodward was a frequent critic of Fitzgerald's investigation in television and radio appearances. Woodward has described the case as laughable and Fitzgerald's behavior as "disgraceful" and has referred to him as "a junkyard dog."
One day before Libby was charged, Woodward said he saw no evidence of criminal intent.
Marvin Kalb of Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government called Woodward's conduct "puzzling" and said he had more explaining to do. "Since he knew he had information that was relevant and he chose not to disclose that information for reasons he said had to do with confidentiality, it's odd that he would rip into the prosecutor so publicly and so persistently," Kalb said.- [full article]

That's right, I say badder than old King Kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog!
Meanwhile, leaky reporters at the Washington Post fume.

Keep Your Eye On The...

prize.

Ya gotta love indictment countdowns, yes? The Select the Correct Day and win an 8 x 10 glossy of yours truly contest is back in effect.

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Sexy Is As Sexy Does...

It was just brought to my attention that I have been named to People magazine's list of sexiest men something or other.
"One surprise this year was special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, lead investigator in the CIA leak case, who landed in the 'Why We Love Smart Guys' category along with CNN newsman Anderson Cooper and U2 lead singer Bono."
Wow, I am in great company, but I am married to my work and do you they really think that I have time to think about sex, feel sexy, let alone have any sex?
I graciously decline this "honor" and humbly submit that my slot go to Bob Woodward or Scooter Libby because I always heard women find sensitive men who cry sexy. Or give to Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner or Jeff Bridges who can play me in the eventual made for TV movie "Treason and Criminal Conspiracy at 1600."
Although I must admit tonight I am feeling too sexy for my rugby jersey and flannel boxers. Good night. ;)

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Nov 16, 2005

FREAK OUT..!

in blogotopia!

So I deposed Bob "the God" Woodward and he turned out to be a weasel, do you think my two year investigation and whole case hinges on the testimony of one person. Did anyone ever consider I am building a stronger case, casting a wider net? Sheesh!

Today the only emotion you need to focus on is our collective mourning for the disappointment in one of our journalistic heroes, no more no less.

Hush Little Baby...

don't you say a word about National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley revealing to you that Valerie Plame was a CIA agent. I knew it, now you know that I knew you knew it, and that was why I invited you to testify, under oath.

It's OK, crying like you did during your two hours of testimony on Monday. Testifying under oath can be scary, but it is now clear to everyone that you only look out for number one, lack integrity and are highly overrated as a journalist watchdog of the people.


Even though Bob Woodward apologized to his editor today for lying to him, he still owes the American people an apology for attempting to withhold critically important information from me and the Grand Jury.
He says he was "afraid," but that didn't stop him from going on TV where he criticized my investigation, called me a "junkyard dog prosecutor," outright lied to Larry King and deliberately misled the American people about his knowledge and involvement in the affair.

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob...Bob! You have just been grouped into a category of disgraced journalists that currently includes Judy Miller, Jayson Blair, Bob Greene, Janet Cooke and others.

What a shame, many people have been remarking that they have seen you slowly change over the past few years so I guess we shouldn't say it is any surprise. In this case, "principle" and fear should yield to the need to protect covert agents who are serving our country. They are also are due an apology from YOU.

No wonder Bernstein broke up with you. What is your "Plan of Attack" now, smart guy?

Separated At Birth..?


Sam "Chang" Alito, Jr. has accepted my invitation to replace A3G and join my weekly Klingon scrabble group!
To those of you who may smirk I say Sujatlh 'e' yImev. To all others, I will share that in spite of the rough year with Star Trek being cancelled, the passing of James "Scotty" Doohan (known to legions of Trekkers and Trekkies alike as Montgomery Scott, the man who kept the laws of physics from biting Captain Kirk right in his overacting, scenery-chewing tuckus every week) and finally with Sulu announcing that he was not solo all these years, we remain faithful.
I have to confess that I was kind of irritated at Sulu's timing. I mean, Harriet withdraws, I indict 'Scooter' Libby and then he resigns - then comes along George Takei, pushing those stories and me right off the front page, not to mention he violated the Federation's official 'Don't ask don't tell' policy...
I am sharing this personal information at the risk of a public ribbing since it has come to my attention that Bob Woodward is preparing a hit piece on our group attempting to undermine my investigation. He is just being spiteful since he and Judy Miller wanted to join, but Harriet Miers said "naDevvo' peghoS Hab SoSlI' Quch!" - go away, your mothers have smooth foreheads!

If you must know, our monthly group is comprised of Harriet, Condi Rice,
Anna Marie Cox, Madeleine Albright and yours truly. We have a round robin tournament the third Friday of each month with cool Star Trek prizes for the winner. It is all good clean fun with everyone always trying to beat Condi. Last month, true to form, she got the best of us again! It is hard to compete with a razor sharp mind like hers when she pulls words like yuQjIjDIvI' out of her hat, but we keep trying!
[If only the War in Iraq and other global conflicts could be decided over a game of Klingon Scrabble we would be in capable hands and sleep better at night]
Anyway, I have to get back to work so welcome aboard Sam, Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!

Nov 15, 2005

Day "0 Shit.."

NY Times Wednesday: Foreign intelligence services react to reports on Eastern Europe secret prisons...Developing...

I predict a few covert and overt operatives working for Uncle Sam will be arrested overseas in days to come, maybe days 3, 4 or 5.

Karen Hughes and the Architect will not be able to spin their way out of another fine mess they have gotten President Bush in to.... V. P. Cheney is going to fall on the sword or be backed into one.

Our poor country. :(

Fair & Balanced...

in D.C. equals the Washington Post and the Washington Times as far as I can tell.
Seeing that the Times steers hard to the right and is basically a GOP (Rev. Moon owned) mouthpiece I am having a hard time figuring out if they are accurate and trustworthy. Take these two stories for example:
which is 100% wrong, and
which if correct is 100% scary!
"President Bush feels betrayed by several of his most senior aides and advisors and has severely restricted access to the Oval Office, administration sources say. The president's reclusiveness in the face of relentless public scrutiny of the U.S.-led war in Iraq and White House leaks regarding CIA operative Valerie Plame has become so extreme that Mr. Bush has also reduced contact with his father, former President George H.W. Bush, administration sources said on the condition of anonymity."
Matt Drudge adds on his site:
"The sources said Mr. Bush maintains daily contact with only four people: first lady Laura Bush, his mother, Barbara Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Undersecretary of State Karen Hughes. The sources also say that Mr. Bush has stopped talking with his father, except on family occasions."
Reads like a multi-generational meeting of the La Leche League! Mr. President, please pull it together. Trust me, Dick Cheney is not going to be around much longer and '09 is a long long ways away. Have you taken any vacation days this year?

Cash Is King In This Town...


What shall I call this Origami I made at lunch?

From the Email Bag...

baby! Equal time for my critics...



To:
Fitzmas@gmail.com
Nov. 15th 4:30AM
Subject: Plame Leak
I watched and waited just like many other people with a slim hope that you would bring the hammer down on the Bush administration. Be Patient! When I saw your press confrence after the libby charges were handed down it was clear to me that you are a controlled dissenter. I am rubber you are glue! You are bought and paid for sir. Pffft! My blog is worth $0.00. After all that time investigating the only thing you could come up with was Libby lied. Bullshit!!. You had enough evidence to go after much bigger fish but you would not because you can not isn't that right. So what that those murderers are still in the white house. So what that all these people are dead because of lies. So what that September 11th is the biggest lie ever sold to the american public. That would be December 25th. So fucking what right Pat. Just remember there are people out here who know and more waking up every day to what is really happening. Cheney shagging Judy? Maybe you can write a book now and make a few bucks like all the other fakes. Good day
Thank you for sharing! :)

What Am I..?

Chopped Liver!


Just as well, I did not become your friendly neighborhood prosecutor to gain riches (think GS15) nor do I blog for personal gain. No my friends, I have a higher calling - fighting for truth, justice and the American way! Good Day.

A3G - A2 Brute'..?

I despise fake bloggers, let alone a nerdy assistant U.S. Attorney slacking at work and pretending to be a woman!
David, take notice - I have put forth a motion to expell you from our monthly Klingon scrabble group. Of course, you will be given an opportunity to make a case in your own defense, but you have given "real" bloggers a black eye everywhere. And since I get my fill of lies and the lying liars everyday, who tell them under oath no less, I must fiercely protect my free time and inner circle at all costs. Your fondue will be sorely missed, but you won't.


PS: Sam, I will let you know if we approve you to fill the open slot.

Nov 14, 2005

Very Interesting...

Lautenberg and other Senators sent a letter today seeking confirmation from Mark Frownfelter, the official in charge of security clearances for White House officials, that he is investigating and reevaluating the security clearances of Karl Rove and other Administration officials referenced in the indictment of former Cheney Chief of Staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby.
Under Federal rules cited in the Senators’ letter, upon learning of “adverse information” regarding handling of classified information, Mr. Frownfelter is required to take “prompt action to investigate alleged violations of security, and recommen[d] appropriate administrative action with respect to violators.”

“The Senate affirmed the view anyone who reveals the identity of a covert agent should be stripped of their security clearance,” Lautenberg said in a statement. “Yet Karl Rove still has access to some of the most sensitive classified information vital to this nation’s national security. If Karl Rove blew the cover of a CIA agent, he should not be in the position to do it again. His clearance should be stripped.”
In my humble opinion, I suggest you strip him nek-ed.

DC Loves Its Redskins..!

and they sure are sore about their loss yesterday. I watched that replay of the controversial call on the two point conversion attempt and if you ask me I would call it a criminal act...but it IS just a game.

Nov 12, 2005

DC Is Growing On Me...

and since my work will keep me here well into '08 I was considering buying a house as a real estate investment until I read this article in the Washington Post yesterday...

Housing Market Cooling, Data Say: In Washington, Sales Are Down, Inventory Is Up

Now I am a bit more uncertain to say the least. Maybe I should wait until '09 when I get a raise as your new AG! ;)

A Modern Day Miracle...

The Washington Post has found what they recently had lost...brass ones. Maureen Dowd

Ask my friends, I am not a particularly religious person by Pat Robertson's or James Dobson's definitions or standards. I usually only prosecute, not judge, but I find lying to be the major issue here in Washington DC especially at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue! Judy Miller
This a must-read article in Saturday's Washington Post, front page - Bush lied about lying about Iraq?Paul Krugman

Drip, Drip Drip...

Nov 10, 2005

I Am Ordering a Bug Sweep...

for my phones and offices, these reporters are too good!


Confirmed: Rove aide to be called back to testify as Fitzgerald questions veracity of statements on why calls weren't logged... Heat still on Rove...




Now that the cat is out of the bag...Let it be known that I am calling Rove’s former personal assistant, Susan B. Ralston -- who was also a special assistant to President Bush.
Before that Ralston previously worked as a personal secretary to Jack Abramoff, the Republican power lobbyist being investigated for allegations of defrauding Indian tribes who was recently indicted on conspiracy and wire fraud charges and tried to charge $9M for a meeting with President Bush.
While working with Abramoff, Ralston arranged fundraisers and events at Washington MCI Center skyboxes for members of Congress. Ralston communicated with Rove on Abramoff’s behalf on tribal affairs, though she is not accused of wrongdoing. Yet!

On a side note, I like Filipino girls, dated one or two in my lifetime and prosecuted some crystal meth cases here and there, but Ralston and Michelle Malkin are giving their culture a bad stigma.

Great Caesar's Ghost..!

It just hit me like a ton of bricks after reading this article in the Washington Post!

Judy Miller agreed to only testify about Scotter Libby because she was SHAGGING CHENEY!

I feel so played...

Nov 9, 2005

I Am All For Torture...

if I can use it on Karl.


Just kidding, this is a slippery slope on a fast ride to the weakening of our country. These types of people worship the flag more than the ideal of what our country was founded on.

I Love Anchovies...

pepperoni and mushrooms on my pizza. Of course, I took a liking to deep dish Chicago style when I moved there, but nothing can truly compare to a big slice of Ray's, Grimaldi's, Lombardi's, Totonno's or pizza from any of the 3,000+ NY pizzerias.

Even though I am relatively new to D.C. I still can't believe I have yet to taste one decent pizza pie here. Can anyone PLEASE make a recommendation besides Domino's, Papa John, or Pizza Hut?

Labels:

Did I Do That..?

Following is a memorandum from Bill Keller, the executive editor of The Times, sent to his staff today at 3:30 p.m. Eastern time.

To the Staff:

Judy Miller has retired from The New York Times effective today.

In her 28 years at The Times, Judy participated in some great, prize-winning journalism. She displayed fierce determination and personal courage both in pursuit of the news and in resisting assaults on the freedom of news organizations to report. We wish her well in the next phase of her career.

Bill

P.S. Judy asked that I share with you a letter I sent regarding my recent memo to the staff. It is attached, and speaks for itself.



Dear Judy,

I know you’ve been distressed by the memo I sent to the staff about things I wish I’d done differently in the course of this ordeal. Let me be clear on two points you’ve raised.

First, you are upset with me that I used the words “entanglement” and “engagement” in reference to your relationship with Scooter Libby. Those words were not intended to suggest an improper relationship. I was referring only to the series of interviews through which you ­ and the paper ­ became caught up in an epic legal controversy.

Second, you dispute my assertion that “Judy seems to have misled” Phil Taubman when he asked whether you were one of the reporters to whom the White House reached out with the Wilson story. I continue to be troubled by that episode. But you are right that Phil himself does not contend that you misled him; and, of course, I was not a participant in the conversation between you and Phil.

I wish you all the best for the future.

Regards,
Bill
She was shagging Scooter?

I Am Non-Political...

and as a servant of the people I put my politics aside and try to enforce justice in an evenhanded manner, blind to political parties and special agendas. Unfortunately, it just so happens the corruption in the GOP and the Bush Administration appears to be a growth industry.



Based on results, the elections held yesterday reveal that Americans are as fed up as I am and want some changes. I thank all of you for your continued support and comments. Have a nice day.

Nov 8, 2005

Remaining Calm...

and not strangling or punching people out is often part of my job and that is why I took up origami.



I made this lil one today and am torn as what to name it. Any suggestions?

Pro Bono Advice...

1) Fellow citizens, be sure to get out and vote today if you haven't already done so.

2) Wednesday GOP talking points:

Yesterday's results at the polls just mean that we have to work harder on getting the news of successes in Iraq, low everyday prices at Wal Mart, gas under $3 a gallon and the new and improved ethics program in the White House out to the American people in spite of the liberal MSM.


Tuesday, bloody Tuesday ;)

What's Good For the Goose...

Straighten up and fly right you hypocrites!

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist and House Speaker Dennis Hastert on Tuesday called for a congressional investigation into who told Washington Post reporter Dana Priest about previously undisclosed CIA interrogation centers. -
I wonder if the Democrats will try to block an investigation? Gotta love D.C. - this town has more leaks than a R. Kelly home video!

On Nov. 2, Priest's report on the so-called "black sites" -- which she describes as a "covert prison system set up by the CIA nearly four years ago" to interrogate some of the most important al Qaeda captives -- drew worldwide interest and focused attention on the Bush administration's anti-terror strategy.

"If accurate, such an egregious disclosure could have long-term and far-reaching damaging and dangerous consequences, and will imperil our efforts to protect the American people and our homeland from terrorist attacks," Frist and Hastert said in a letter to Senate and House intelligence committee chairmen. -
Has a familiar ring to it, yes?

Lucy Dalglish, executive director of the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press, told E&P this afternoon that she believes the Post would not "knuckle under" to any subpoenas if such an investigation were convened. -
LOL, probably not, but who knew Bob Novak would in a New York here minute? FYI, Trent Lott says that a GOP SOB (sweet old boy) leaked the info - Were National Republicans Involved in Yet ANOTHER CIA Leak?? Watch the CNN video here with Lott implicating GOP Senators.
[Original piece from E & P via Americablog with great commentary]

Paging Dr. Phil...

in a small way I feel responsible - Dubya-Cheney ties frayed by scandal

Don't hate me because I am effective.


As far as I am concerned, Dick Cheney is one Persian cat short of being a Bond villian.

What Gives..?

I am finding DC weathermen to be incompetent. They promised 70 degrees today so I wore a short sleeve shirt to the office. What do I find, 62 degrees and I am chilly. I rest my case. On a side note...the fall leaves are breathtaking.

Nov 7, 2005

"The Apprentice: A Novel.."

may be the underappreciated work of Scooter's vivid and some may say filthy imagination, but the used price tag for his turn-of-the-century novel filled with 'voyeurism, bestiality, pedophilia and corpse robbery' has been rising on Amazon.com fetching as much as $2,400 as of late.
In case you missed it, here is a sampling from Msr. Libby's first book reviewed in the latest issue of the New Yorker (shout out to my hometown!):
"At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest."
I think it is fair to say that Danielle Steel, is safe for NOW!

Irv, if I may, I know you have rising legal costs and since deep down I am really a big softy here are my two cents and free recipe for your literary success - "The Chief of Staff: A Prison Engagement" - Told in the first person a la Martha Stewart, focus more on mainstream deviancy (suitable for Democrats and readers with real family values), liberally mix in tantalizing tales and topics about prison life, e.g. defiance and escape attempts a la Cool Hand Luke and Papillion, gangs fights (embezzlers vs. perjurors vs. inside traders), throw in a pinch of man on man love a la Kiss of the Spider Woman (think Jack Abramhoff, Tom DeLay or Bernie Ebbers) and Midnight Express, and finally be sure to include plenty of material on steamy conjugal visits with Official "A", John Bolton, Harriet Grant, Judy Miller, whomever, but the more the better.

Oh, the Places You'll Go! Money can't buy these kind of real world experiences in store for you 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed. I smell a huge advance and a sure-fire New York Time's bestseller cooking now!

What Do You Think..?

Can you spot a liar? Paris Riots Maureen Dowd


I have been working tirelessly over the past two weeks examining Rove’s grand jury testimony and interviews Rove had with the FBI to determine if there is evidence that Rove knowingly made false statements to officials investigating the case, but tonight I am buying a 12 pack of Bud, pork rinds, Fritos, bean dip, maybe some slim jims and settle down to watch Monday Night Football!West Wing
I predict the Colts over the Patriots by 10.

Nov 6, 2005

Bush Champion of Ethics in White House...

Bush is sending White House staff to "ethics" school?

Bush Orders Staff to Attend Ethics Briefings
White House Counsel to Give 'Refresher' Course

eth·ic (noun)
1.
a. A set of principles of right conduct.
b. A theory or a system of moral values: “An ethic of service is at war with a craving for gain” (Gregg Easterbrook).
2. ethics (used with a sing. verb) The study of the general nature of morals and of the specific moral choices to be made by a person; moral philosophy.
3. ethics (used with a sing. or pl. verb) The rules or standards governing the conduct of a person or the members of a profession: medical ethics.

Ethics Schmethics...Like class, I am of the opinion that you are either born with them or learn what is right and wrong at an early age and surely before your first job in the White House.
Is Bush attending the classes? Is Cheney? Are the courses pass/fail or are they just auditing them?

Nov 4, 2005

Sam Alito Is a Pansy...

He writes poetry on HIS blog and the Library of Congress immortalizes HIM!

Fine! Prose this:

I'm Fitz the Prosecutor Man
I'm Fitz the Prosecutor Man
I'm strong to the finich
Cause I eats me spinach
I'm Fitz the Prosecutor Man

I'm one tough ga zookus
Which hates all pa lookas
Wot ain't on the up and square
I biffs 'em and buffs 'em
An' always out roughs 'em
An' none of 'em gets no where

If anyone dasses to risk me fisk
It's "boff" and its "wham", un'er stand
So, keep good be havior
That's your one life saver
With Fitz the Prosecutor Man

Mr. President, Tell Me Something...

I don't know?



Moments ago at a press conference with President Bush:

QUESTION: Are there discussions in the White House about whether or not Karl Rove will remain in his job?

BUSH: Elizabeth, the investigation on Karl as you know is not complete and therefore I will not comment on him and/or the investigation. I understand the anxiety and angst by the press corps to talk about this. On the other hand, It’s a serious investigation, and we take it seriously.

So Much Time, So Little Corruption...

reverse that!

Fox News paid for DeLay's travel to DC $14,000 paid for trip to appear on Fox News Sunday after indictment.

Nov 3, 2005

See You In Court...

in about 45 minutes. Scooter, be brave my little soldier.

Nov 2, 2005

Deeper Water - Bigger Fish...

I can only tell so much...

Do You Ever Have A Dream...

that your are in front of the judge and jury and are completely naked?