Oct 31, 2005


Happy Halloween.

I am wearing a button-down collar white shirt - medium starch with a yellow power tie (circa 1989), a non-descript dark blue suit, black lace up Bostonian wing tips, and boxers...my costume today? Special Prosecutor, of course!

Oct 29, 2005

Nothing Like A Sun Salutation...

to get the day started.

To do list:
TiVo Laguna Beach on MTV.
Return videos to Blockbuster, no late fees, but the bastards zapped my VISA!
Drop off dry cleaning (point out flop sweat stains from press conference/lipstick on collar).
Pick up red meat, red wine and Red Stripe from Whole Foods.
Call Joe Wilson, arrange to collect $1 from bet.

Who Died..?

Maureen Dowd Paul Krugman Scooter Libby Karl Rove John Tierney Flock Scooter's Scandal Janet Jackson Official A Forbes Halloween Prussian Blue Tierney

I Deserve A Break Today..

and I don't mean a Big Mac.

Yes, Yes, Yes! There I said it, "Official A" is Karl Rove. Happy now?

Do you mind if I sleep in this morning for the first time in two years?

Thank you.

Oct 28, 2005

More Leaky Leaks..!

Who are these "Lawyers?"
Fitzgerald expands probe, believes he can get Rove on more serious charges, lawyers say.
In one of the boldest moves yet in the 22-month investigation into the outing of a covert CIA agent to a handful of top reporters covering the White House, Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is extending his probe and pursuing much more serious charges against senior White House officials, specifically President Bush’s Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove, lawyers directly involved in the case told RAW STORY Friday.Maureen Dowd Paul Krugman Karl Rove

While many people were left confused by news reports that said Rove wouldn't be indicted Friday, the lawyers said that Rove remains under intense scrutiny and added that Fitzgerald is betting on the fact that he can secure an indictment against Rove on charges of perjury, obstruction of justice, the misuse of classified information, and possibly other charges, as early as next week. President Bush Scooter Libby

Truth or Consequences...


Pat Tee Vee

Lights. Camera. *Action* - 2:15PM EST.


The End of the Beginning...

I have charged Scooter Libby with:
5 counts -
1 count obstruction of justice
2 counts of perjury
2 counts of making false statements

Lied to FBI agents on Oct 14, Nov 26, 2003.
Committed perjury on March 5 and 24, 2004.
Engaged in obstruction of justice by impeding investigation.

Summary of indictment:

Beginning in late May 2003, two months before actual column by Novak in July 2003, Libby began acquiring info about trip to Niger by Wilson. The CIA decided on its own initiative to send Wilson to Niger after an inquiry by the VP. Libby lied about conversations he had with Tim Russert, Matt Cooper and Judith Miller. Prior to July 14, 2003, Valerie Wilson's employment status was classified, her affiliatilon with CIA was not common knowledge. Revealing the agent's status has the potential to damage the national security, risk lives of that agent and other agents, damage national security.

Official 22 page Indictment in .pdf for those who like to print/read the legal details and gobblygook or Smoking Gun has it scanned and up.

Scooter Libby endangered national security.

"Without the truth our criminal justice system cannot serve the nation or our citizens." - Me


Raw Story has a big red font and timely headlines. I am a household name now.

Oct 27, 2005

Texas Hold 'em Anyone..?

My Plans for Sunday...

will take me here - Rosa Park's remains to lie in honor in the Rotunda on Sunday and Monday "so that the citizens of the United States may pay their last respects to this great American."

I Love a Good Raw...

Story - They are the only journalists who are half way intelligent.
If you are interested in what is going on today read this. Otherwise I have to get back to work, I am now going after criminal charges based on new testimony from a few flippers at the 11th hour.
Woo hoo!

If Looks Could Kill...

I just snapped this picture of Condi with my Nokia 3650 Phone. I never told her or implied that we were going steady. AND "that" does not constitute an oral contract in Washington DC. Sheesh!Harriet Miers Maureen Dowd Paul Krugman Karl Rove Patrick Fitzgerald.

That's What Friends Are For...

I was thinking of killing two birds with one stone this afternoon by purchasing a special gift for my friend Harriet Miers AND contributing to a worthy charity through this online celebrity auction to benefit Hurricane Relief.

I am torn between bidding on the Jennifer Lopez (personally signed to the winner) jean jacket and "Rebirth" CD or 2 VIP tickets to see Oprah in Chicago (if anyone can help her turn her frown upside down it is Ms. Winfrey!)or her becoming a character in a James Patterson novel or VIP tickets to meet the cast of Will and Grace -- what do you think?

Open Letter To POTUS...

Dear Mr. President,

Although I am extremely honored, and to be honest quite surprised, I must decline your gracious offer to become your nominee for SCOTUS.

After this grand journey is over maybe we can get together for a few drinks, trade stories and tell a few jokes.


Patrick J. Fitzgerald
Your Faithful U.S. Attorney

Do You Know This Woman..?

Is she:

A. A domestic engineer/PTA/soccer mom raising twins,
B. A business consultant,
C. A spook,
D. The lady seen coming and going from John Bolton's apartment,
E. None of the Above,
F. All of the Above,
G. Other_________.

A few loose ends...Please answer truthfully since I need to prove that Valerie Plame was in fact a secret operative of the CIA whose ties to the intelligence community were unknown to her friends and neighbors.

Harriett, Harriett, Harriett...

my Pretty Woman,

I am saddened to hear the news of your decision to withdraw your nomination, but politics can be a bitch. :(

Tonight - me, you, the Penthouse (because it is the best) 103 degree jacuzzi, caviar and toastpoints, grapes, and chilled Veuve...I am all ears, with broad shoulders to cry on and 70 inches of leg therapy to wrap all around you.
You gave it your best shot! Hold your head high and don't forget my philosophy, may the best man win, me! Maureen Dowd Harriet Miers Ann Coulter Predient Bush

Take a Chill Pill...

and relax. It is coming down to the last day because it just is...I can only say that Freaky Friday IS the day...Maureen Dowd Harriet Miers Karl Rove Paul Krugman

Karl, it is time to leave Bush...

In the meantime, help me come up with a song playlist for my offices tomorrow to mark the occasion of The End and it being casual Friday and all. I am trying to create a theme with Friday in the titles, but I invite other suggestions as well.

"Friday On My Mind" - Gary Moore / Easybeats
"Black Friday" - Steely Dan
"She Left Me On Friday" - Shed Seven
"Living It Up" (Friday Night)- Bell and James
"Friday I'm In Love" - Cure
"Thank God It's Friday" - R. Kelly
"Party People . . . Friday Night" - 911
"She Left Me On Friday" - Shed Seven
"Living It Up (Friday Night)" - Bell and James
"Friday Night" - Kids From Fame
"Friday Street" - Paul Weller
"Friday's Angels" - Generation X
"Friday is for Frog Marching" Joe Wilson and the Grand Jury

Also, I am bringing in chips, salsa (spicy and mild), bean dip, taquitos and pop to express thanks to my hardworking staff for keeping their eye on the prize over these past two years.

Oops, phones are ringing! Gotta run I am covering up front while the receptionist gets us more Starbucks.

Oct 26, 2005

I Am Thinking of a Rolling Stones...

song. Fitzmas Maureen Dowd Plame Patrick Fitzgerald Karl Rove

Scooter, can you guess which one? Anyone?

Miss Wonkette is a funny gal. Talk about kicking a man when he is down:
Top 5 reasons Libby on crutches
5. Tried to take out frustrations on family dog and got bitten.
4. Got frustrated and kicked office safe after learning combination changed.
3. Tripped down basement stairs while carrying documents to home shredder.
2. Transparently faking injury in hopeless sympathy plea.
1. Twisted ankle in shower portion of prison orientation tour.

UPDATE: That didn't take long! K. Richards correctly guessed the Rolling Stones song title challenge. ANSWER: In comments

Go White Sox..!

I got home from the office late last night, but just in time to see my boyz win again in the 14th inning!
I hate to rub it in, but the White Sox are my adopted baseball team since I became U.S. Attorney in Chicago on September 1, 2001. And since this investigation began I have quickly learned to dislike almost everything about Texas including the Astros, except Ronnie Earle and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders (I would like to scrum with them).
Drat! Rove's lawyer is calling again. If they had only played ball from day one and rolled over like sissy man Bob Novak, (also from Chicago) then they would not be in the pickle they are in today. Actually, come to think of it, I am quite pleased with the perjury and obstruction charges...Fitzmas Patrick Fitzgerald Karl Rove Scooter Libby Harriet Miers Dick Cheney Maureen Dowd Phil Krugman

Oct 25, 2005

Just a Reminder...

Altering photos of public officials is a federal crime or oughta be.

I find this distasteful as well as inaccurate. I have yet to demonstrate the proper technique for "frog marching." Wait, watch and learn. Maureen Dowd Karl Rove Scooter Libby Dick Cheney

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer Retained by Rove & Libby...

I despise unfounded rumors and confirm that this is absolutely false. Last I heard Courtney Love and Tom Sizemore had Cirroc booked solid.

Leak, Leak and More Leaky Leaks...

The liberal do-gooders at Daily KOS are jumping the gun and reporting that I am only going to indict 1-5 people.

To this I say BOLOGNA!
Their "source" claims: Maureen Dowd Karl Rove Cheny Krugman Frank Rich
A) 1-5 indictments are being issued. The source feels that it will be towards the higher end. (FALSE)
B) The targets of indictment have already received their letters. (TRUE)
C) The indictments will be sealed indictments and "filed" tomorrow. (FALSE)
D) A press conference is being scheduled for Thursday. (MAYBE)
I have not wasted two years of my life and career only to indict 1-5 people. Now, they have done it, I have broken another keyboard and swallowed my mentos!

Now, this leaked information/rumor also from KOS is far more interesting and telling:

"This just in from a close friend who worked inside the pinnacle of Republican power in the Senate a few years ago, so while this is rumor -- it's Republican rumor, which makes it interesting:

Steve, just heard from trusted friend that McCain was approached about serving as VP if Cheney has "health problems" or otherwise steps down. Beyond that, speculation that Miers will step down to be replaced by a Bork-like sub (even better, Bork himself...). In other words, Cheney takes a bullet, a titanic battle over SCOTUS ensued to change the subject. You didn't hear this from me, but feel free to pass on such unsubstantiated rumors."

Comment? Sorry, my lips are sealed as tightly as my indictments.

Best Week Ever...

As the work day comes to a close for most worker bees here in Washington I find myself still at the office performing my labor of love - fighting for you, your children and your children's children.

The sun is now setting behind grey and overcast skies mixed with rain, not unlike several high level EOB positions and careers. I am sure there are some in this town who view it as God crying for their personal predicaments, whereas I see it as tears of joy, because God is about love...and I LOVE my job.

I must say that this certainly is shaping up to be my best week ever. Be mindful, Grand Jury indictments are no laughing matter, but I do find myself smiling, skipping down the halls and yes, even feeling giddy as of late.

Here is a question for you...which is more appropriate for a little office party I am throwing later this week - sparkling California wine or French Champagne?

Indictments 101...

As you may have guessed from my previous post - I will soon be announcing indictments (quite a few of them) from my posse in the grand jury, think imminent. Please be patient.
My office is currently notifying the lawyers for the indicted individuals to make agreements on whether a summons will be issued for some or arrest warrants for others, and, if it's going to be an arrest warrant, whether the person will be allowed to surrender at the courthouse or FBI office rather than be arrested at home or at work (think "frog march") and bail amounts can be agreed upon.
After almost two years of a long, tedious and complex investigation that has included recalling several witnesses (Karl!) because of incongruent and conflicting testimony, lost then found notes (Judy!), visits to jail (Judy again!) and faulty memories (Everyone!) you can be rest assured that I have been thorough, professional and licking my chops since day one!
Again, please be patient, this will be the biggest mother of all scandals to hit our nation's capital since Ken Starr found DNA on that portly girl's dress.
Stay tuned and have a great week.
Maureen Dowd Karl Rove Wilma

Indictment Countdown...

When will it stop?

Correctly pick the day and win a personalized 8 x 10 glossy of me. Makes a great stocking stuffer.

2,000 U.S. Military Personnel...

have been killed in Iraq as of today.

Help me out here? What are the true reasons that President Bush has given to justify these 2,000 dead Americans?

1. 9/11 - FALSE
Iraq was a haven for terrorists - FALSE
Spreading Democracy - FALSE

A little secret between you and me, my investigation is not ONLY about who leaked CIA Operative Valerie Plame's name to the press...it goes deeper, much deeper.

The Nerve, the Gall...

The NY Times has an extensive timeline lay out of my investigation in today's edition and the best they can do is to place me at the end of the photos, with my hair cut off? Maureen Dowd Bernanke
I swear I don't trust that weasel Judy Miller. 85 days in jail and she is still being a pain in the neck. Oops, Krispy Kreme's and Starbucks just arrived, gotta run, more later....

Oct 24, 2005

Just A Reminder...

Altering photos of public officials is a federal crime or oughta be.

I find this distasteful as well as inaccurate. I have yet to demonstrate the proper technique for "frog marching." Wait, watch and learn.

I am making a list...

checking it twice.

gonna find out who's naughty or nice...

Americablog ran this photo of me yesterday and I must say it does capture me in a good light - hardworking and fighting for truth, justice and the American Way. God Bless.


New Kid on the Block...

I am "Very" Special Prosecutor Patrick J. Fitzgerald.

I prosecute, therefore I am.

I am somewhat engrossed in my duties with the Grand Jury, but I hope to give regular updates and insight into the process and who I will be recommending for indictment.

Thanks for stopping by and a special thanks to my friend Harriet Miers who introduced me to blogging.