1) They are lax on the "no shoes- no service" policy,
2) He feels warm and fuzzy knowing many of its after hours laborers are named after him,
3) Idleness is the work of the Devil and the hard working Chinese manufacture 80% of the merchandise for only .45 cents an hour,
4) While supplies last he can buy the hot new video game "Left Behind: Eternal Forces" and stock up on bulk pet food for his Dinosaurs - Dobson and Falwell,
5) Along with Haliburton, Exxon, and Lockheed Martin, Wal Mart has been one of his best performing stock picks in the after life,
6) He is a master of timing so that any number of the elderly greeters can personally carry his purchases to the pearly gates, and
7) Please, can anyone from Nazareth to Roanoke resist those prices?